Loneliness. Friendship.

by Josée

It’s was chilly outside today. We went to a nearby produce farm this morning. It was so blustery that it was difficult to enjoy the tour. I managed to dress the little ones well enough that they tolerated the wind. I, on the other hand, thought I would be comfortable in my fleece and Merrel Pure Gloves (without socks). Since I was wearing Teddy my torso was warm but my feet were frozen. I need a pair of winter boots and these Frost Glove barefoot boots look perfect. Another thing to add to my wish list.

There were many young children and their parents touring the farm this morning. Everyone seemed friendly but no one was in the mood for chatter because it was so windy and cold. I wouldn’t consider myself an introvert but I’m not extremely outgoing either. There were a few moments that I wished I had a card that I could hand out to random nice people. The card would say something like: Hi! My name is JoséeI have three little children. I just moved here. I’m looking to meet new people. You look friendly and you have children too! Would you like to come over for a visit? Would it be weird to give a card that said this? Maybe. Probably. I know that friendship takes time and effort; it can’t be forced.

Now that the bulk of this year’s canning has ended and I’m mostly unpacked, there seems to be more time throughout the day. It’s good because I was getting tired of canning tomatoes and pears. But, without the incessant business I am more aware of my loneliness and I’m feeling heavy hearted. I miss my family and friends. I knew this would happen. I am not surprised.
Throughout the day I think of my family and friends. I wonder what they are doing and if they think of me. My heart yearns for their companionship. My children miss their friends, grandparents, aunts and uncles. They ask for them often. It breaks my heart. I am making an effort to meet new people. Every week we go to various activities and I introduce myself to new faces. I’m not sure what to expect. It took us almost five years to build a community of friends up North. Five years seems like a long time when you’re feeling lonely.

A giant sunflower bowing down to the earth.

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Anonymous October 23, 2012 - 4:52 am

It's hard to move and find that community. We're praying for your family. I'll try and give you a call tomorrow 🙂

Kim Corrigan-Oliver October 23, 2012 - 9:50 am

Hugs mama, it is hard moving to a new community, give it time. I often feel that loneliness even though we have not moved in 17 years, mine comes from the different choices we make as parents. I find it hits home when we have not been able to connect with out little community as much as we would like.

Hoping your day is better today and the sun shines in your part of the world.

Elisa October 25, 2012 - 2:42 am

Aww, I know so well what you are going through, but I guess I have become a pro over the years and 5+ moves. A few things I've learned is that you have to make that extra effort and if you meet someone or see someone who you think you might get along with, you can just introduce yourself..or start chatting and then if you feel like you could be friends, ask if she'd like to get the kids together sometime. And then you have to be the one to make the phone call or initiate. Best places of course, are places you go every week: Church, or mommy groups. OH, and about cards, I actually made myself some "mommy cards". They are business cards with our family name, the names of our children and birth month & year, as well as my phone number, email, and blog. Sometimes I meet people at random places and I think: We could be great friends! and after some chatter I ask if they want to email me. Sometimes they do, sometimes they think I am a crazy stalker so they don't. Lol..but it's worth the effort when it does work out. I'll keep you in my prayers. Wish I could come over and keep you company.

And that photo is beautiful.

Josée October 25, 2012 - 6:14 am

Thanks Kim 🙂 It has been rainy in these parts but I'm seeing blessings nonetheless.

Josée October 25, 2012 - 6:16 am

You actually made cards! So cool. I guess it doesn't hurt and it's much more convenient than trying to find a pen and paper to jot down your number with kids running circles around you. Thanks for the prayers 🙂

Jenn October 27, 2012 - 11:27 am

Hi Josee,

What a day for me to re-find your blog! God works in mysterious ways. I totally identify with you on this issue, after having left the entire community I grew up with for strange but wonderful new-ness in a different country and after moving around a few times while living here I've found that making new friends is really tough! I struggle with that a lot, probably more than I want to admit, but at the same time I think it is forcing me to appreciate my time here in Ireland because I know now that I want to be back in Canada and nearer to my family. Anyway, thanks for your post, I really enjoyed it.


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