Why Boredom is Good for Your Child

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When my kids complain that they’re “sooooo boooored”, it’s like hearing someone scrape their nails across a chalkboard. I want to curl up and hold my hands over my ears and beg – please stop! I’m tempted to reach for an electronic device or recite a litany of ideas to chase my child’s boredom away. Instead, I take a deep breath, brace myself, and courageously say “well my friend, I look forward to seeing what you get up to!”. That’s when the magic begins!

Boredom is uncomfortable for children, and by extension their parents, but it isn’t a bad thing. Letting children get bored every now and again can actually be good for kids and help them grow and develop in positive ways.

This article is all about boredom and answers the questions: What is boredom? Why do kids get bored? Is boredom bad? Why is boredom good? and How should parents respond to kids when they are bored?

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What is boredom?

Boredom is an emotion. One that doesn’t get that much attention compared to anger or happiness, but it’s just as important. It is defined as “a state of mind characterized by a lack of interest, stimulation, or challenge” and it happens to everyone, even more so for kids¹. Some people compare boredom to pain, because it’s an uncomfortable feeling. It’s the brain saying, “something is wrong – help!”. If your child is feeling bored chances are she is grumpy and frustrated. These feelings are important and normal! There’s nothing wrong with your child if they experience boredom.

Boredom is really important because it signals instances to us when we’re not meaningfully engaged in the world, and it gives us an opportunity to fix it.

Speaking of Psychology: Why boredom is surprisingly interesting, with Erin Westgate, PhD

Why do kids get bored?

If it feels like your child gets bored a lot, that’s normal. Children are more likely to get bored because their brains are still developing and they are more restricted by what they can and cannot do.

Kids can get bored because:

• They are faced with a task or activity that is too easy or too challenging.
• They have a difficult time paying attention to a task or activity.
• They don’t find value or meaning is a task or activity.

We get bored when we are not able to pay attention or cannot find meaning in what we are doing.

Why Boredom Is Interesting

Is boredom bad?

The short answer: No, but sometimes yes. Boredom isn’t a great feeling but its a normal experience, and especially for kids. Boredom, like anger, isn’t bad in itself, but the way kids act on those feelings can be good or not great. While feeling bored won’t hurt your child but sometimes boredom can make kids do impulsive things. I have seen my share of destroyed toys and items at the hands of my firstborn over the last decade. He wasn’t being bad. He was bored and curious and it occasional led to trouble. One time, when my son was young, he dismantled his cousin’s corn popper toy, and that was a disaster in more ways than one!

Four reasons why boredom is good for you child

The reason why I let my kids experience boredom is that it gives them opportunities for growth and development, especially when boredom is managed and acted upon in a positive way. Here are four reasons why boredom is great for kids.

Boredom helps your child regulate emotions

Life is full of difficult and frustrating moments and learning how to cope with them is an important skill to learn. Allowing your child to work through feeling bored can help them learn how to manage difficult feelings.

Boredom spurs creativity and problem-solving skills

Boredom gives children space to use their creativity, imagination and problem-solving skills. At the age a twelve, during a family reunion, I remember complaining to my father that I was bored. He told me, quite frankly, that I had to figure it out on my own, so I did. My cousins and I scoured around and found Styrofoam insulation, wooden planks, a hammer and nails and built a raft that we floated down the nearby waterway. We had so much fun, and all because we were bored.

Boredom boosts self-esteem

Children that learn how to manage their feelings of boredom, feel more confident about themselves and their abilities to cope with situations. As parents we want to keep our children safe from all the negative emotions, but learning how to manage challenging feelings is an important part of growth and learning. In the same way parents provide space and support to help their children manage emotions like anger, the same holds true for boredom.

How to respond when your child is bored

When kids say they’re “soooo booored” parents either jump into action to banish boredom away (often with screens) or they discount their child’s struggle. I’m guilty of doing both, especially the second approach since that’s how I was raised. However, there’s another approach. One that allows your child to embrace the benefits of boredom while supporting them in that experience. This approach requires two things from parents: 1) To be excited about boredom and 2) To be proactive about boredom.

Be excited about boredom

Be excited about boredom? Yes! Instead of cringing when your child complains he’s bored, be excited! Boredom is an invitation to learn and grow in marvelous ways. See boredom as an opportunity, instead of a burden, requires a mindset shift, and it has to start with you, the parent. Here are a couple thing you can say to show your child that boredom can be exciting:

• “Great! I can’t wait to see what you will get up to”
• “That’s exciting! What are you going to do about it?”
• “Boredom can feel hard, but I’m excited to see what you do with it!”

Whatever you chose to say, be authentic and empathetic. Yes, boredom doesn’t feel good (acknowledge that!) but it can lead to good things.

Be proactive about boredom

Often children (and parents) turn to screens to get rid of boredom, but by doing this it takes away any of the benefits boredom has to offer. Before boredom set in, be proactive, take some time with your child to brainstorm screen-free activities he can do if he’s feeling bored. Make a list, using words or images, and put it somewhere your child can see. Gather any supplies your child might need for these activites, loose parts are great too, and place them somewhere accessible. When you child announces that she’s bored, encourage her to have a look at the list you created together and pick something off the list.

If you’re children doesn’t want to do anything with their boredom scroll down for how to manage this situation.

Using Loose Parts for Free Play

Another suggestion, have a few activity books for your child to peruse when bored.

What if your child refuses to pick an activity?

Sometimes kids balk at every idea or suggestion throw their way. Maybe your child is hungry or tired, or perhaps they are trying to get your attention. When this happens, asses the situation and try these approaches:

• Encourage your child to have a rest or a healthy snack if needed.
• Send you child outside!
• Have your child do an age-appropriate chore.
• Give your child two activity choices, and pick one if they refuse to pick.
• Have your child write in a mindset or gratitude journal like the Big Life Journal, Happy Confident Me or The 3 Minute Gratitude Journal for Kids.

What do you do when your child is bored? Share your tips and trick with us!

1. Ndetei DM, Nyamai P, Mutiso V. Boredom-understanding the emotion and its impact on our lives: an African perspective. Front Sociol. 2023 Jun 29;8:1213190. doi: 10.3389/fsoc.2023.1213190. PMID: 37456271; PMCID: PMC10342197.
2. Westgate, E. C. (2020). Why Boredom Is Interesting. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 29(1), 33-40. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721419884309